Girl Talk: Queen of the Roundtable
The Famous Fetal Position
by Victoria Regina Lockhart
Photograph by: Jerri Noble (noblej@gwm.sc.edu)
Okay, how many of you have experienced regressing back to the fetal position after a misjudged relationship? Really? What could have been so powerful about this person that would make you retreat to your pre-birth condition? Somehow the sting of heartache has that effect. We need to examine why and how much sense this actually makes. You meet someone, you're under the impression that this person cares, you allow yourself once again to open up -- uh oh it's happening again. You're falling again and we all know what happens when we fall because we've already discussed the synonyms for the word "fall", now you're involved, wrapped up, tied in, that nose is open, can't let go now...then you come to the realization the impression you were under is precisely that, you're under, they've gotten over and once again a piece of you has been stolen, stripped, devoured, demolished and you have the nerve to regress to the fetal position.
Crying yourself to sleep every night for weeks, repeatedly sharing the same events with whoever will listen because your best friend just can't stand saying, "I told you so" anymore so you seek solace with any ear willing to listen, eventually you find yourself sharing your story with pure-T strangers, what a joke (looking hindsight, I can't believe I did that). When all the while those flags were just a flying, hello there's something wrong with this picture, he can't stay past 11 p.m., he's uncomfortable around your friends, you can't meet any of his friends, called his house about fifteen times while awaiting his unequivocal arrival because they always show up (and you know why) even if they're usually two or three hours late. It's now mid-night and you just go to bed because if they don't show up by then (you know the routine) they're not coming.
You attempt to call the next day and all of sudden there's this hollow sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach that you just can't shake but you ignore it anyway. It's also like having a scarf on your head that you've tied just a little too tight, it's uncomfortable but you won't loosen it because you think you're hair just won't be the same if the scarf is loosened. Don't you think if you loosened it your hair would still look nice? Same principal, different analogy, "woman thou art loose him".
They show up three days later with a bouquet of roses, that they bought from the local Korean store and a great excuse for disappointing you for the umpteenth time. You say to yourself, okay, they're just dealing with some issues that don't have anything to do with me. Yeah, you're right, you have absolutely nothing to do with it and you never will. That's the point, hello; I hope I'm helping somebody.
And what about the brother you happen to meet and he showers you with compliments and much needed encouragement. He comes on so strong that you have to take a step back and make sure he's talking about you. But he's full force from Monday through Thursday but Friday through Sunday homeboy disappears. Please don't ignore that. If I was trying to get to know someone or became seriously involved, as I usually was, even though my intended wasn't; I would always have a dream about that person and anytime I dreamt about him and there was a woman in the dream you could bet you bottom dollar that was always the case. It was God's way of informing me that something wasn't quite right. How should you respond to this if the man is someone you've just met. You should tell him about the dream, should he ever call you again, you see, men can be that way. If you just met him and the Lord is showing you things in a dream so soon, thank God and continue to move on. But don't get discouraged because Dad loves you and He truly has someone for you, in His time and His way. But somehow those eminent signs escaped your attention. Then you want to blame them for hurting you. What is that!!!
I wish you all could hear me cracking up with laughter because at this point in my life it's about the funniest thing since Seinfeld, especially the episode when Jerry dated the woman with the man hands, I laughed like I'd never laughed in my whole life, my children ran into my bedroom, Ma what's the matter, I had tears in my eyes and I was slumped over in unadulterated laughter, thanks Jerry, this is how I feel right now and if you could ever hear me laugh, it's extremely hardy, I've actually been told that I laugh like a fat woman, whatever that means, no I'm not fat. The bible says that laughter is good for the soul and I take that to heart.
The following is an excerpt used with permission from Girl Talk:Queen of the Roundtable.
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