Girl Talk: Queen of the Roundtable
Fall In Love?
by Victoria Regina Lockhart
Photograph by: Jerri Noble (noblej@gwm.sc.edu)
The topic of love has been discussed in movies, books, and articles galore. Yet, we never get enough of trying to comprehend the power of Love. Or is it just the concept of love or for some of us (including me, at one time) the idea of love. From the time we were little girls, we are lead to believe that getting a job, falling in love, getting married and having 2.5 children was the "American Dream". But as we all well know, that's not the way it usually plays out. Presumably after all the dating, game playing, and love triangles (mostly not to your knowledge), mishaps and mayhem and severe cardio vascular stress, we'd get to Mr. Compatible because after the age of 35, you know Mr. Right doesn't and never existed. I used to always say to God, whom I love dearly, "Look Dad you are going to have to put some flesh on one of your angels and send him knocking on my door because the man for me is not here on earth." In my opinion, and this is my strong belief, that in a world complete with billions of men and women; and on one ordinary day, you meet someone who is truly interested in who you really are and loves you the way you deserve to be loved, is a miracle from God.
Our perception of love (I mean us women), intimacy, and relationship is in no wise comparable to what a man thinks love entails. Please keep in mind this book is not for the intent of male bashing or degradation; that will solve nothing. Accusing someone else for our own ignorance is never the solution (believe me, I know). Oh, so many times I blamed (him) whoever the him might have been at time of demise, for hurting, lying, cheating, and deceiving me. Why? Because it was easier to “shift the blame” like Adam did rather than take responsibility for my own actions. Remember, Satan came to do three things; kill, steal and destroy and he will use the (him or the her) in your world to mis-direct your focus from Christ whenever he can. So Sistahs and Brothas beware!!
If there is one thing that I've learned from heartbreak, is that no one is responsible for my emotions (don't you remember your mother or most likely grandmother saying? "Baby no one can do to you what you don't allow them to"). It is also my belief, that when we stop ignoring the red flags, most situations we get ourselves into would definitively turn out differently. The elements of a solid friendship, (is really what a relationship should start out as), are truth, which will ignite respect; which will evolve into trust then grows into love, thus finding yourself in a real and wholesome relationship. I specifically used the word grows, because growing is a whole lot better than falling, don't you think? I don't know if we are ready to rephrase the most popular cliché ever, from "fall in love" to "grow in love". What do you think? Is the world ready? Or would we like to continue using this cliché? When you think about it, break down the phrase whom in their right mind would really want to fall in love? When we fall, we usually get hurt to some extent. Whether you sprang an ankle, bruise a knee, break a leg, almost any injury can be incurred by falling. I want this to be clear, so I'm going to give you some synonyms for the word fall. They are: drop, descend, plunge, plummet, reduce, decrease and collapse. Now, do you still want to "fall in love"? Let's grow!!
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